Nan Merrill

May 1988 (Vol. I, No. 5)

Happy Pentecost season to all friends of Silence! And what gift of the Holy Spirit are you praying to receive over the next thirty weeks -- piety ... counsel ... courage ... fear of the Lord ... knowledge ... understanding ... or, wisdom? There is so much that the Spirit wants to give to us in order that we might die to our inner fears, that we might give birth to our hidden selves which have not yet risen. Our homes, our cities, our countries, our world are in such need of these gifts today. And all that is given to us is for us to use to enrich one another ... to enrich all of creation.

Just as the seed given to Mary by the Holy Spirit brought forth the spiritual birth of Love to our world, the Holy Spirit in every moment awaits our fiat, our total YES to God's word in us, so that the inner womb of our hearts may receive the seed and give birth to that same Love.

Accompaniment

Ginny Senders Out of Nicaragua

As a witness for Peace, our role was to witness in two senses of the word: we SAW, and by our presence we offered affirmation by word or example of a solidarity based on love and faith and the Good News. The word that is much used is "accompaniment." Our contribution was less in our doing than our being-with.

Thou sweet Well for all who thirsteth in the desert

Unknown

Thou sweet Well for all who thirsteth in the desert! It is closed to the one who speaks, but it is open to all who are silent. When the one who is silent comes, lo, that one finds the Well.

As the river enters into the ocean

Kabir

"As the river enters into the ocean, so my heart touches Thee, O God."

What God wants

The Talmud

God wants the heart.

I have a dream

I have a dream

  • of people recognizing the giftedness uniquely theirs,
  • of people standing tall in their gifts and using them to enrich the lives of others;
  • of people coming to a deeper union of God dwelling within them and a deeper communion with one another.
  • of peace and harmony reigning -- for power would be in docility to expressing one's gifts ...

I have a dream

  • of a people drawn together out of a shared vision, a new way of living together,
  • of each individual in their rightful place based on gifts,
  • of men and women standing side by side serving together to bring peace and justice to the city,
  • of a society based on deep trust that within each person
  • is a well of goodness, beauty and truth longing to express itself for the good of all ... and in freeing this inner well, an ocean of love that could fill the world.

We must be still and still moving

In the stillness, empty spaces occur and new possibilities are searching their way to the surface of the mind. A connection is made, new relationships are formed and new patterns emerge. This process of being still and moving at the same time to something new is the way the experience of creative thinking comes about in our minds. T.S. Eliot alludes to this process in the middle of the "Four Quartets."

We must be still and still moving
Into another intensity
For a further union, a deeper communion.

The desire and pursuit of the whole

Plato
The desire and pursuit of the whole is called love.

Something of supreme rightness

Pat Munk

Something of supreme rightness
Lies at the heart of Life...
Like a star or a single white rose
Sufficient in Itself...
Yet It reaches everywhere
Whispering Itself.

I believe that God is in me

Helen Keller

I believe that God is in me as the sun is in the color and fragrance of a flower -- the Light in my darkness, the Voice in my silence.

April 1988 (Vol. I, No. 4)

Greetings to friend of Silence around the world -- and, welcome to all those who have recently indicated their interest in and commitment to allowing enough silence in their lives for the Word to be heard!

Inspiration is the feeling of beginning at the threshold

John Lobell Between Silence and Light

"Inspiration is the feeling of beginning at the threshold where Silence and Light meet. Silence and Light. Silence is not very, very quiet. It is something that you may say is lightless, darkless. These are all invented words. Desire to be, to express. Some can say this is the ambient soul -- if you go back beyond and think of something in which Light and Silence were together, and may be still together, and separate only for the convenience of argument ...

"The way one does things is private, but what one does can belong to everybody. Your greatest worth is in the area where you can claim no ownership, and the part that you do that doesn't belong to you is the most precious. It is the kind of thing you can offer because it is a better part of you; it is a part of general commonality that belongs to everybody."

The property of love is never to seek self

St. John of the Cross

"The property of love is never to seek self, to keep back nothing, but to give everything to the one it loves. Blessed the soul that loves; the Lord has become its captive through love!"

Silence is a green, secluded garden

Unknown

Silence is a green, secluded garden,
Where you may walk at leisure, and
speak with the Beloved ...
Leaving the outer world of noise and hurry
To walk serenely on prayer's holy sod.

Silence is a garden sweet with fragrance,
Its grasses nurtured by faith's gentle rain,
Its every bloom a link with God,
our Creator.

Once you have wandered there,
you will return again,
And in the garden's beauty,
be made whole ...
In the Silence,
the quiet garden of the Soul.

If two or more people love one another deeply

William Johnston Silent Music

"If two or more people love one another deeply, they may come to that profound level of awareness and mind-expansion in which no words are necessary because their intimacy is not built on words. And the stronger the love, the more profound will be the silence and the deeper will be the enlightenment. Furthermore, if this love goes to the core of their being, it brings a realization of something more than the people involved -- it brings a consciousness of the all; it contains an element of universality."

The mystery

Fr. Edward J. Farrell Can You Drink This Cup?

The mystery IS Christ among you -- Christ in me, Christ in you, Christ between us. The root word of mystery in Greek is SILENCE, which is also related to secret. One way we come to know ourselves is by naming our reality, our experience: I am mystery ... I am sacrament ... I am silence ... I am secret ... I am treasure ... I am temple of the Holy Spirit...

"If you but knew the gift of God and who it is that speaks to you, in you ..." John 4:10 We are invited in the silence to discover the hidden mystery of Christ ... we are invited in the silence to delve so deeply into our inner beings that we become new beings!

A Morning Prayer

John Baillie A Diary of Private Prayer

A Morning Prayer: O Beloved of my heart, give me grace today to recognize the stirrings of your Spirit within my soul and to listen most attentively to all that You have to say to me. Let not the noises of the world so confuse me, that I cannot hear your Voice. Help me not to deceive myself as to the meaning of your Word; and so let me in all things surrender myself into your hands, through the grace of Christ's Love. Amen.

A Psalm for Today

For God alone my soul waits in silence;
from the Beloved comes my salvation.
Holding me with strength and steadfast love,
my faith shall remain firm.

How long will fears set upon me,
holding me in their grip,
like a trembling child,
a dark and lonely grave?
They keep me from living fully my true self.
They take pleasure in imprisoning my soul.
They pretend to comfort,
so long have they dwelled within me,
but truly, they are my enemies.

For God alone my soul waits in silence;
for my hope is from the Beloved.
Holding me with strength and steadfast love.
my faith shall remain firm.
In Silence rests my freedom and my guidance;
God is the Heart of my heart,
my refuge is in Silence.

Trust in God at all times, O people;
pour out your heart to the Beloved;
Silence is a refuge for you.

Once God has spoken,

March 1988 (Vol. I, No. 3)

HAPPY EASTER, friends! May we pray in the Silence, that in this glorious season of Resurrection -- of new life and new beginnings -- there may be created a new heart in our homes, our cities, our countries, our world ... that all peoples and nations will come to recognize how we complement one another, how we complete one another, how we are all One in the Beloved's heart.

Remain in me

Sr. Giovanna della Croce Elizabeth of the Trinity

"Remain in Me." It is the Word of God who gives this invitation, expresses this wish. Remain in Me, not for a few moments, a few hours which must pass away, but REAMAIN ... permanently, habitually, Remain in Me, pray in Me, adore in Me, love in Me, suffer in Me, work and act in Me. Remain in Me so that you may be able to encounter anyone or anything; penetrate further still into these depths. This is truly the SOLITUDE into which God wants to allure the soul that the Beloved may speak to it.

A Psalm for Today

Nan Merrill

For God alone my soul waits in silence;
from the Beloved comes my salvation.
Holding me with strength and steadfast love,
my faith shall remain firm.

How long will fears set upon me,
holding me in their grip,
like a trembling child,
a dark and lonely grave?
They keep me from living fully my true self.
They take pleasure in imprisoning my soul.
They pretend to comfort,
so long have they dwelled within me,
but truly, they are my enemies.

For God alone my soul waits in silence;
for my hope is from the Beloved.
Holding me with strength and steadfast love.
my faith shall remain firm.
In Silence rests my freedom and my guidance;
God is the Heart of my heart,
my refuge is in Silence.

Trust in God at all times, O people;
pour out your heart to the Beloved;
Silence is a refuge for you.

Once God has spoken,
twice have I heard:
Our potential capacity belongs to God;
to you, O Beloved, belongs
steadfast love.
For you render to us all that
we offer you --
fear begets fear.
love begets love.
For God alone my soul waits in silence;
from the Beloved comes my life.

Martha's prayer

Anonymous

Martha's Prayer: God, you are in every atom of the creation. You are in my feelings, even feelings of not being consciously close to You. You cherish every one of my poor efforts to remember You. Thank you for the inestimable grace of that little tug at the heart that makes me continue to pray in times of dryness.

God embraces our nothingness

Max Picard The World of Silence

And, paraphrasing Max Picard in THE WORLD OF SILENCE:

"The mark of the Divine in God's good creation is preserved by the connection with the world of silence. For Silence is a primary, objective reality, which cannot be traced back to anything else ..." except Love itself. Or, as one of the saints exclaimed, "When the abyss of God's immensity encounters the abyss of our nothingness, God embraces our nothingness!" Abyss calls to abyss in the Silence. Each time we enter into the Silence, we open ourselves to the Beloved in a unique and vulnerable way ... we open the eyes and ears of our heart to the Heart of the universe.

To be born again

Fr. Basil Pennington Thomas Merton My Brother

The following quotation from a new biography of Thomas Merton by Fr. Basil Pennington, seems to reflect the spirit of our prayer:

When we attain true freedom, we live in the spontaneity of the Spirit. And we do not know if we are coming or going. And others don't either ... Usually, we become a problem for those who want to have everything under control. Yet, there is within every one of us, IF WE DARE TO BE FREE ENOUGH TO LISTEN, an instinct for newness, for renewal, for a liberation of our creative energies and power ... If we dare to listen, we will soon enough realize that the change we seek is actually a recovery of that which is deepest, most original, and most personal in ourselves. To be born again is not to become somebody else, but to become ourselves, our true selves, in the One who is Christ" ... the Beloved of our hearts.

February 1988 (Vol. I, No. 2)

Greetings to you, friends, as we enter into the Lenten season -- the time when in the Silence we are invited to remember our story ... to contemplate the life of Jesus -- the deepest mysteries and most profound truths, which He fulfilled on the Cross ... to commune with God as we reflect, pray, fast, repent of our own shortcomings so that we may come more fully into communion/community with all people -- and, especially with those we see as enemies.

As Friends of Silence, we are united in a common bond-of-being with men and women of every country ... of every faith, creed, color. For in the Silence we are One in God. In recognition of our Oneness, perhaps we could hold this excerpt from the prayer-poem "Way of the Cross - Way of Justice" by Leonardo Boff together in our hearts as we move toward Easter and resurrection:

To be a monk, you must learn to close the door

Rev. Brooks Smith

Driving to Kirkridge for a retreat, I listen. On cassette, made in 1967, Thomas Merton speaks to the novices. He speaks of a Buddhist monk who has come to visit the monastery at Gethsemane. Joyfully, I remember. I remember 1967. I remember Thich Nhat Hanh. Students had organized a multi-faceted event on "the war" at my college. Two Buddhist monks came to be among us. In their orange robes, with agony for their Vietnamese brothers and sisters in heart, they spoke to us. I remember the power of their souls. I don't remember the quiet. My own life at 21 was such a noisy jumble. My own soul -- such a kaleidoscope of passions. Who did I love? What was my call? What were my gifts? Then, always relentlessly the question of "the war" -- how would I respond to the death and violence, the heroism and the compassion, the deceit and the debate? Those questions powered my soul into overdrive. And yes, I liked being in overdrive. Because then I could produce.

Inner peace -- that was for others. Those of us who were activists, those who really cared, we were driven to act, and act and act some more. So, for me in 1967, my jumbled soul did not even know to yearn for inner peace. I only caught glimpses of the vital connection between inner peace and actions for peace, between clarity of soul and clear commitments, between loving the life of God within me and living love in God's world. Perhaps Thich Nhat Hanh in 1967 offered me that glimpse.

Over twenty year later, now his words sting and bless. "TO BE A MONK, YOU MUST LEARN TO CLOSE THE DOOR." I realize the responsibility and necessity of "closing the door." Shut out obligations and issues, shut out people you love, shut out the pain and hope of the world. It sounds so harsh and yet it MUST be done. We must all shut the door -- so we can go inside to prayer -- "to let God be God in you," as Eckhardt said.

Inner city contemplative

Martha Chevalier

There is a kind of giving which is receiving, just as there is a kind of loving that feels like being loved. When the mind is concentrated in the heart and some simple words -- like "Jesus, I love you" -- begin to flow naturally with the breath, if grace is there, the mind comes into a sort of natural union with the mind of Christ. The giving and loving are being done in one's own mind instead of one doing them.

The mind of Christ must be a constant flow of love. If we can concentrate our scattered minds on loving, then our minds and His mind are doing the same thing. Eastern philosophers posit that two things which are in the same flow become the same. They cannot remain separate. This inner loving of the Lord is simply opening one's mind to let Love flow through us.

Alone, this type of inner prayer and loving are not enough. For most of us, our minds are far too scattered to remain in this prayerful state for more than a moment or two. Our inner loving and service must be balanced by outer loving and service, by being and doing for others. Inner and outer loving enhance each other. When one sits quietly to pray, the inner joy is more easily accessible if one has just come from some active time of being open to those in need. And one is energized and inspired to serve others by inner prayer and loving. Jesus was a model of inner and outer loving since he was both a contemplative and an activist. This is why an "INNER CITY CONTEMPLATIVE" is not at all a contradiction in terms, but rather, it is a way to follow the Lord very closely ... to experience Him very closely.

The lenten spring shines forth

Anonymous

The lenten spring shines forth,
the flower of repentance!
Let us cleanse ourselves from all evil,
crying out to the Giver of Light:
"Glory to You, O Lover ...
Glory to You, O Friend of mankind!"

The risen Jesus penetrates the entire cosmos

Leonardo Boff Way of the Cross

The risen Jesus penetrates the entire cosmos
pervades the whole world,
And makes his presence felt in every human being.
The resurrection is a process that began with Jesus
and will go on until it embraces all creation.
Wherever an authentically human life is growing the world,
Wherever justice is triumphing over the instincts of domination,
Wherever grace is winning out over the power of sin,
in their social life together,
Wherever love is getting the better of selfish interests
and hope is resisting the lure of cynicism or despair,
There the process of resurrection is being turned into reality. 

Our little community

Our little community of the FRIENDS OF SILENCE is an expression of the desire to have all our relations, all of our activity in the world, pass THROUGH Eternity. If we are to participate in bringing the Blessed Community to its completion, we must be still and know God in our inner beings. We invite anyone who shares this dream, this hope, to COME and SEE ... to COME and BE with us each month.

This is our beginning. We welcome your sharings and responses. Please send them by the 15th of each month to Nan at St. Agnes Church.

January 1988 (Vol. I, No. 1)

Three years ago this week, the St. Agnes Contemplative Community was initiated with an afternoon of prayer, adoration and contemplation. Since then, over sixty different individuals from various faiths have participated on the fourth Sunday of each month just to be together with Jesus in prayer over our parish and city. And as we are gathered together in prayer, we are in the company of all those who live contemplatively around the world -- from the Community of Transfiguration in Scotland to Focus Hope in Ireland ... from the Jerusalem community in France to the Little Brothers and Sisters of the Eucharist in Cleveland. We are in company with all those Friends of Silence in every country -- from Africa to Australia ... from Central and South America to Russia ... from Maine to Santa Fe ...

Our little community

Nan Merrill

Our little community of the FRIENDS OF SILENCE is an expression of the desire to have all our relations, all of our activity in the world, pass THROUGH Eternity. If we are to participate in bringing the Blessed Community to its completion, we must be still and know God in our inner beings. We invite anyone who shares this dream, this hope, to COME and SEE ... to COME and BE with us each month.

This is our beginning. We welcome your sharings and responses. Please send them by the 15th of each month to Nan at St. Agnes Church.

Behold I stand at the door and knock

Thomas R. Kelly A Testament of Devotion

Our Quaker friends have much to teach us in the way of silence. The following quotations are taken from the little classic, A TESTAMENT OF DEVOTION, by Thomas R. Kelly:

"... the Living Christ within us is the initiator and we are the responders. God the Lover, the accuser, the revealer of light and darkness presses within us. 'Behold, I stand at the door and knock.' And all our apparent initiative is already a response, a testimonial to His secret presence and working within us.

"The basic response of the soul to the Light is internal adoration and joy, thanksgiving and worship, self-surrender and listening. The secret places of the heart cease to be our noisy workshop. They become a holy sanctuary of adoration and of self-oblation, where we are kept in perfect peace, if our minds be stayed on Him who had found us in the inward springs of our life ... In the Center of Creation all things are ours, and we are Christ's and Christ is God's."

Pages