BLESSINGS, dear friends! As Spring approaches, may our house-cleaning include times of silence, where we air out our inner rooms of any old anger or resentments that continue to bind us to the past. May we experience the liberation and deep gladness that forgiveness of hurt from situations, others, or ourselves will bring -- especially of our own betrayals to living our own deepest truth! The Dalai Lama reminds us that our enemies are our greatest teachers because they provide us with the opportunity to practice compassion and forgiveness.
Forgiveness is the treatment and the conditioning that helps loosen habits and patterns. When we fa1l foul of old ways, when we fail to get beyond our "stuff," despite all our good intentions, we have to forgive ourselves and try again. We have to act as compassionately toward ourselves as we would toward a child we were teaching a new skill. Forgiveness allows the process of transformation to continue by removing the obstacles that can check the flow.
Little slights, harsh or unthinking words that sting and hurt, something said or done that has left wounded feelings are not that hard to forgive. No one is perfect and all of us, at one time or another, have done these things without even realizing it. Develop an attitude of constant acceptance and forgiveness as you go about daily life, shrugging off these little things in the realization that only your own attitude is bringing the distress you are feeling about them. Forgive yourself first for getting upset: then forgive the other person – entirely. To really erase the memory, think of something nice about that person and send out vibrations of concern and affection instead. If the person really meant to hurt you, this is entirely disarming! Love conquers all.
To forgive means to give life, to remove what has been an obstacle to friendship and communion: those inner, psychological walls that had prevented dialogue or communicatíon. These walls are judgments that separate and isolate us from others and push people into anguish and inner death. To forgive means we no longer judge others. Forgiveness breaks down blockages to communication and communíon so that we can say to one another: I love you and want you to live.
In the silence, ask to learn
how to give of yourself,
how to forgive others, and
how to live with gratitude.
Thus, we need not seek inner peace:
Peace will find us!
Blessed are you who forgive
without remembering
and
you who receive forgiveness
without forgetting.
Even as the silence exposes my subtle deceptions, my inauthenticity, my "sins" (much deeper than a mere catalog of misdeeds) -- it exposes at the same time God's unconditional love for me:
- surprising in its lack of judgment,
- astounding in its completeness,
- and flavored with a sweet forgiveness.
Pain-bearer, Life-giver of us all,
in the silence, hear our prayer
for forgiveness and healing,
for peace and for love.
Amen.
Forgiveness brings a quiet mind
a peaceful heart...
love.
The most authentic sign we can give ourselves that we have actually begun the process of forgiveness is our prayer. This is true even if the only prayer we can say is to ask to want to forgive. In the beginning ít may be too much for us even to pray for the person who hurt us. Perhaps all r¡re can do is to pray for ourselves — to pray that for our own sake we may begin the process of forgiveness. Prayer is a way of recognizing and acknowledging God's movement towards us and God's gift of grace
I gave up trying to stop the tears. I abandoned my ruined defenses:
"I don't deserve any support from God after what I did." "Maybe not, but God's not interested in operating a brownie-point system – only in loving and forgiving those who are brave enough not to deny what they've done, no matter how terrible, brave enough to be truly sorry, brave enough to resolve to make a fresh start in serving Love as well as they possibly can."
I sat there with tears streaming down my face, and then just as I was thinking how utterly I was cut off from the Great Healer, that shining, mysterious figure I had tried so hard for so long to follow, Clare reached out across the table and briefly covered my clenched fists with her scarred hands.
FORGIVENESS is not simply the absolving of an enemy, or one who has done us wrong. Forgiveness must encompass all those things which disturb the tranquility of our soul: the barking dog that robs you of sleep, the heat of summer, the cold of winter; forgive the ingrown toenail, the flea that bites; forgive the cranky child, wrinkles, a forgotten birthday... And these are only a beginning. Such forgiveness must be practiced daily and with sincerity
I have stood alone on rocky shore,
asking for forgiveness in contrition,
And looked across the sea into the sunset
and known God's benediction.
Despite repeated breaches of trust, Papa found the courage and humility to forgive those who betrayed or hurt him again and again: "I would rather trust and be betrayed, than to live in mistrust." He never tired of preaching forgiveness or pointing out that when people spend their lives harboring grudges, they become crippled by unwittingly binding themselves to the person they cannot forgive. They are imprisoned, yet they refuse to take the key of forgiveness out of their own pocket and unlock the door.
To forgive is the higest, most beautiful form of love.
Forgiveness is always necessary when I have the perception that I failed to love and accept myself or another. Forgiveness allows me to let go of any feelings of inadequacy that arise in me. Forgiving myself is the affirmation that I do not buy into the feelings of inadequacy that invariably arise when I judge myself or another. Forgiveness keeps the slate of my heart open for Spirit to write on.